A car needs fuel in order for it to drive and without fuel not only will it not drive but it is considered “empty”. We are the same without Christ—dormant, empty, and at a stand still. I have been searching so long to understand what my purpose is and how I can walk in that purpose effectively. For a long time I had my priorities in the wrong order. I would take care of the things that I felt was most important first and then God was more like an afterthought. I remember so many times hearing him telling me that if I trust him and obey, he would supersede my expectations. But I did not trust him fully….I felt that I was better equipped to put matters into my own hands. This year I decided that I was tired of feeling “empty”. I didn’t like the results I got when I tried to handle things on my own and my failures were an example that I was incapable of handling my own dreams. God’s plan for us is bigger than our plans for ourselves. First I decided that I would trust God with my heart. The only problem was that he did not have it completely. We always say we trust God but it’s funny how we fear being hurt. Trust and hurt can not live in the same place. 1 John 4:18 is one of my favorite scriptures…it’s the scripture that helped me to see that I didn’t “trust” God as much as I thought I did. It says “there is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. (1 John 4:18 KJV)”. Needles to say the one I thought was the “one” wasn’t the “one” that God had for me. I realized that I had to loosened the reigns and know that my creator knows me more than I know myself, which means he also knows who he has tailored made just for me. So I decided to wait without questioning or trying to manipulate his plan to fit my agenda. Relationships were not the only area of my life that I hadn’t surrendered to God. I realized that I was a complete control freak. One day I heard God say that all he wants is a surrendered life. I didn’t understand what that meant because I always had my hand to the same plow he told me to leave in order to claim my greater. So this year I decided that I would do something differently…I would trust him. I decided that my first priority would be to honor God whenever I encountered success and even when I failed. It wasn’t easy but I believed that there was a plan that he had set for me. This year I started Graduate school and I was freaked out to say the least. I had way too much on my plate and I had no idea how I would pay for it. I got accepted to Liberty University and decided I would not stress about the finances, God opened up financial aid that covered my entire tuition. This was only the beginning and I was thankful that trusting God had yielded good results. In the beginning of the semester I was completely stressed, I had a business to run that I committed 65+ hours to per week, I held multiple positions in ministry, I was getting booked to perform or be apart of different events, and I still had to be a daughter, aunt, sister, and friend. I was completely worn. So here I was with a load of work and a limited amount of time. This was the Sunday I had to preach, we had two services, and I had countless work due by 11:59pm. As I sat at my iMac flustered, God told me if you take care of my business, I’ll take care of yours. That day I closed my books and focused on the word that he gave me. I decided not to be anxious but instead I trusted him and obeyed his command. As the semester unfolded I had one professor who it seemed gave more work than I could handle, and challenged me with every turn of the course. I decided that I wouldn’t complain but I was really frustrated because I was challenged and the coursework wasn’t a walk in the park. At one point I even had to restructure my thesis statement and rework ALL of my research. But I remembered the commitment I made to God…when I said that I would trust him and surrender my will for his. With every step forward God constantly reminded me, “be anxious for nothing but in all thing with prayer and thanksgiving make your request known unto me”. So this time that’s what I did. Everyday…I told God I really want to get A’s in both my courses. It seemed like after taking my finals, it took forever to get my grades back. Today, I went to review my final grades and guess what? I got an “A” in both of my classes!! I am so grateful because God is showing me step by step that if I trust him, seek him, obey him, and put HIM first…he will give me the desires of my heart. I just want to encourage you and let you know that we have to be completely empty so that God can fill us up with everything he desires for us. Now that I have surrendered every area of my life to him he has exceeded my expectations. Everyday I realize that today is great, tomorrow will be greater, I am walking into greatness not because I’m great but because I serve a great God.
Scripture to Ponder
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. (Matthew 6:33 KJV)